Skip to main content

Redefining life.


Before I could grasp the severity of the situation it had already begun. The chaos in my life never got sorted and I had to detangle myself from it to be physically, mentally and emotionally available for them, my parents.. It is difficult for me to see them in such a different stage of life..oldage. I knew it was near but I wasnt prepared just yet. I have always run to them to solve my problems, to get their support, to come out of my misery. I wasnt used to give support to them. I always thought of myself as that little girl whom dad used to bring flowers for.


The constant hospitalization got the better of me . Maybe I wasn't ready for this kind of intensity, involving the minutest detail. I think I could have done better....much better.. in handling everything differently. The exams, my early periods ..the covid situation , no maids and the constant anxiety disabled me to function normally. Oh! the excuses are endless still the fact remains the same...I could have done better.

These sudden life changing moments have made me a bit reclusive. The feeling of sadness is towering and the maddening demands of the routines we set for ourselves are incessant. Still there are moments...when your kids hug you and say I love you mom...when they wipe your tears off with their itsy- bitsy palms and tell you that everything will be fine. There are moments when some random stranger in the hospital is so benevolent to you that you feel everything's gonna be alright.

The hope people have in their last moments make you understand the reason you have to be strong. And by strong I dont mean to lose emotions and not cry. The one thing I did in all these distressful situations was to cry...to be strong doesnt mean to not cry. Crying releases stress and makes you stronger to face setbacks. When you are sad you are bound to cry. It just shows you are strong and emotional. You face each day fighting the feeling of dread and uncertainty. You think you are lonely struggling in the darkness when everyone around you is there for you, to support you, to help you. All you need to do is ask..
Our journeys in life are full of twists and turns, some delightful and some awful, still the journey needs to be taken. The experience teaches us a lot , again the very fundamental fact that nothing is constant and this time will also pass regains elucidation.

The C word is God awful. However the chemo therapy after it is the redefining factor. It sucks the life out of a person. Whenever I heard Cancer and chemo in the past I was aware that it was a monstrous disease but no one can substantiate and compare hearsay with the journey of a loved one through it.

It shrivels your body and plays with your emotions. It gives you the pre mortuary experience and sends a chill down your spine every time you think about the time you have spent in the morbid lobbies of the hospital. It makes you wonder about your life choices and the frivolous things you worry about. It gives you a whole new perspective on life itself. Above all the things , it makes you grateful for all that you have got. Cheers!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Small niceties will take you a long way

Today I want to write about the thankless job we all are doing silently without complaining or standing up for ourselves when is required.Being a mother, a homemaker is as thankless as it gets. I ask myself- why do I not think about myself first. Why do I not love myself the way I should. Why are we conditioned as such that the moment we get married and then ofcourse when we have kids, we put ourselves later than everyone else. We should be asking the men in our lives this question - what joy can a woman give to her family if she herself is deprived of happiness. Now you will say define Happiness. I think happiness is very overrated. You don't and cannot run after happiness as It is not an object. It is a feeling of total bliss. If people think that we cant complain because we have the basic necessities and then some more, they are fools. Owning and buying things and objects gives us pleasure and not happiness. We are just human and not super moms or uber or ultra moms. Th

Do you have an opinion yet, no...get one now.

Aren't we all getting too much opinionated? I am not saying it's a good or bad thing. Who am I to decide, right? However, I genuinely think the world will be much better with one less of an opinion. So I try not to give one, atleast on sensitive matters and unless asked for one. These days any Tom Dick and Harry has an opinion about how to run a government. I mean seriously. Also like I said I dont have anything against having an opinion. Every fool has it too. Its your right. All I ask though, is it necessary to give it to all, unsolicited, on each and every matter. Isnt it exhausting? Who wouldn't want to be a person of knowledge than to be a person of too many opinions. Having a say in all the things is unnecessary. Having no opinions at all when needed is also shamed. What needs to be done is having your opinion and holding to it until asked for it. Otherwise it loses its value. People who choose to remain quiet on sensitive matters have their own reasons. For

Help yourself because no one else will.

There are some days when you just get too tired. Emotionally tired, physically tired, mentally tired. The feeling to not do anything sticks with you for a long time. The melancholy which sets in is depressing and doesnt seem to end. The light at the end of the tunnel seems fictional. All that you can see is darkness around and you being dispersed in it. You want to come out of it but you cannot. Darkness is ruthless and its grip tenacious. If you let the feeling linger around you all the time, it will pull you in more. But as soon as you try to free yourself from its shackles the better you start feeling. What got you here wont get you there. It means everytime you are sad you have to use different tactics to come out of the sadness. The same way wont always work for different situations. The more you work at it, the better you get at it. Meditation is one fantastic option. And by meditation I dont mean closing your eyes and sitting for hours together, trying not to thi