The amount of time men and women spend in fighting with each other is more than an average person spending the time watching television. Or so I always think.
Till the time a man and a woman are dating each other, everything seems to be going well. Women think they are so lucky to find such an amazing person. He looks dashing, has such an incredible swag, looks oh-so-dapper, is such a gentleman.
You are so much head over heels in love with this guy that whatever he does, you think what you want to think. Like he being so sweet, being so kind and humble and you can go on and on with his invisible qualities which probably your friends miss to see. But then you label your friends either jealous or judgemental. What do they know? Right. Only if you could also see what they see.
On the other hand men also must be feeling the same or different things about women. But being a woman, I can only write from my own perspective. So after the initial honeymoon phase comes marriage and that's what changes the whole equation between them. Slowly and gradually both of them start taking each other for granted.
For the first time in their life a guy understands that there is a right and a wrong side to a towel. And you have to hang it accordingly. Some are clueless about the insane rules women follow while using a bathroom. For guys there can be nothing aesthetic to the mundane routine of natures call.
I remember when we were thinking about renovating our bathrooms, he had asked me to draw a rough draft of it. When he saw it, he was so confused as to why I had some frames hanging on the wall. He didnt think it would serve any purpose.
Then he saw some creepers and small indoor plants space on the draft and he thought we have so many plants in our terrace garden why need some more in the bathroom. Women always think about the aesthetics. They have such a discerning eye. If only the hubbies could have some faith in their wives.
To keep the fire alive and the sparks flying you need to have a surprise element to yourself. There is no magic left after 3-4 years of marriage. You feel so comfortable with each other like friends do, that you no longer feel the need to impress. And there lies the whole problem. If you feel atleast a tad bit uncomfortable when he is around then that is good sign. It means you still have butterflies in your stomach when he is around and you are still that into him.
Both the parties to the marriage have to remember that marriage is not easy. They have to constantly work hard on their marriage for it to be fun and keep the magic alive. Reinvent yourself. Be creative. Take risks. All the business rules also applies to marriage. Don't underestimate the surprise element. Always have a few tricks up your sleeve.
If you dont want to change the equation after marriage for worse then you better be ready to learn new things, absorb the nuances of small things that affect the relationship and embrace the fact that, after all Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Dont try to think you are same because you are not. Sshh....here's a quick tip for the women trying to change their men ...if you still havent read the book( Men are from Mars..Women are from Venus) please go ahead and read it and be enlightened.
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