Empty nest syndrome.

One of the most early teachings which we give our kids is to be not afraid, to soar high, to work hard to achieve our goals and to set free of the boundaries.

It is a very complicated process, and more often than not we are all clueless of what we really want. As parents we want our kids to fit in as well as we want them to stand out. We want our kids to reach for the stars but for that, when they have to travel to another country and get settled, we feel so much insecurity. We dont want them to leave us. The feeling of loneliness and grief engulfs us. The feeling of an empty nest syndrome sets in.

In the initial years of a child, his mother is the most important and influential person in the whole world. Your child is dependent on you for all basic things and more. You are the giver and caretaker for the child. However when your child starts growing , he no longer needs you to be around him all the time. When your child hits his teens, you start wondering why your child is acting so different and giving you a 'step-child treatment'.

I think we need to shift from the primary role of caretaker to that of a good friend. As mothers we are so used to tie their hair in ponytails and select their clothes and brush their hair. We think they will need that kind of involvement when they hit their teens too. And ladies that will be our area of improvement. Here is the non-equilibrium of demand and supply.
We keep supplying where there is no demand at all.

I dread of the day when my kids might hand me a pink slip to announce that my services will no longer be needed. I wonder how I will be able to cope with the fact, that as my kids grow older and older they might not need my presence all the time. We have to acknowledge and respect their space.

What we can do to minimise the effect of an empty nest syndrome is in our hands. For starters people can always keep themselves engaged in other activities which they are passionate about. I know that having a baby is the most life changing events in our lives. And in the initial years all parents are very new to the phase of making a lot of changes in their schedules and programs. A lot of your time is invested in your babies. Mothers are so actively involved in their kids that they get affected more than their partners. Dont let your life be hijacked. Keep finding time to squeeze in some stuff you are passionate about.

You can also join a new class, learn a new language , anything to keep you engaged once the kids grow up and get wings to fly on their own. Let them soar high and find new avenues. At the same time you can learn all the things you missed because of prior engagements in life. Start a new chapter in your life. Begin to explore and travel more. Travelling will make you feel rejuvenated and give a fresh perspective. See the world around you and know what a tiny place we all occupy in this huge world.

My kids are too young and so we are not yet officially empty nesters. However time flies away pretty quickly. The dreaded day might be far away but I need to gear up for that so that I transition in a better way. The 2.0 version of you is waiting for you to find and explore it. You better get set and go!