Small things in life matter .

You are this tiny dot living in the all encompassing world, till you understand this you feel like everything is about you. It revolves around you. My life recently had a whirlwind tryst with dengue virus. It would be safe to say that I am slightly obsessed with mosquitoes. They after all are reasponsible for a wide variety of human casualties happening due to their dengue, malaria and chikungunya viruses and their consequent infections. Initially they leave you paralysed to think that you are the worst affected. Then when you meet the doctors and take the prescribed medication and rest, you feel the least affected. Then comes the stories. The comparisons. Mind you noone has their stories like you. Its always one friend or one relative who had dengue. The deluge of advices and home remedies are maddening. The moment my parents took upon themselves to stay with me for a couple of weeks and get me on my feet again, I knew the journey was going to be a rather tedious but interest

It feels like I was born yesterday. It feels surreal. It feels like happiness. God knows how I landed up at forty.. Its not that I am afraid of forty. But then so many people keep talking about forty like its a bad thing to cross the dreaded number. You get asked so many questions, the stereotype is - did you get your eyesight checked ? They assume everyone gets a number, atleast farsighted at/ after forty. Who do you think you are to defy the laws of age forty? You might be in need of forty plus specs. Ohhh and how could you miss that....such a reckless mom. Whoa. Whats that to do with my motherhood. If you dont have kids then be ready for- how carefree you are sans kids...they start to wonder how you would manage your future kids. I mean Seriously. Why is forty such a mid life crisis for some is beyond me. They must be having their reasons, I am sure. However, beacuse I have just crossed that threshold, I must say that nothing much has changed for me after forty. No explosi

Old will always be gold. And gold here alludes to the purity of things and not the value, as the value of diamond and platinum will always be higher than gold. But we never say old is diamond or platinum. Every year we celebrate our birthdays with great aplomb though we are aware that we are not getting any younger but older every year. You are as old as you feel you are in your head. All of us have two ages : one is our biological age and the other is our calendar age. Some of us give undue importance to our calender age. If you want your real age, ask yourself. How young you feel? That is what you are. People sometimes use age forty as an excuse to not try out certain things. Like that thing suddenly becomes a taboo after forty. After age forty people think they can't exercise vigorously. Although you should exercise irrespective of your age, If you are new to it, you should definitely talk to your doctor and then embark on a new journey. As for anything else like pain

A friend in need is a friend indeed! Or is he? When you have a known enemy it is already bad so where does it leave you when you have frenemies? The concept of frenemies was always there since life itself. It might have evolved from generations. So what the heck is a frenemy? It is that person who you think has your back but they are the ones who have your back just long enough to stab in it. I had always wondered how can you not recognise who your frenemies are so that you can steer clear of them and save some heartache. However it is not as easy as it seems to be. When you are in such a situation it is complicated. Sometimes you know what's happening but you being generous to a fault, give them a second chance and then some more. Why are they so insecured around you is for them to know and you to find out. The frenemity stems from this insecurity. They will always have a laugh at your expense and will get a feeling of Schadenfreude when you are in trouble. If you noti

Not long ago if someone would have asked me, what is that you want more and more, I wouldn't have blinked an eyelid before replying more money, preferably in cash. And then I thought isnt that the top most thing on everyones mind. Judging me wouldn't be right then, would it? Money buys all, not all but most of the things we want (or we think we want) in life. It all starts with an innocent thought of getting a good degree so you can get a decent job. However it never stops, does it? You want this and then that and then a little bit of more too. Life is good and you feel happy. Then you look around and you see there are some people who are earning more and you feel like you are not doing enough. You forget to look at people who are earning less than you. But that's convenient for us and so we move on. Ready to do more, to slog harder to reach that so called `place' where the others are. Can we really reach that `place' where the others are? As that will a

I had seen the movie a couple of times before too. However this time I saw it from a new perspective. Earlier it was the animated version and the remake is the photo realistic version. Nevertheless the fresh one is as amazing as the original. When I had first watched the lion king I was still in school and saw it like I would watch any other animated Disney movie, with a lot of curiosity and amusement. Well ofcourse Disney always delivers. And it did this time too. Later when I saw the movie with my kids, I saw it through their eyes. I watched their expressions more than the movie. When my elder9 saw Mufasa the first time on screen her jaw had dropped in awe. She just fell for the cute little lion Simba. My younger one was too young to understand any of it but she sure seemed to be fascinated by the Lion King. Yesterday when we saw the remake of The Lion King I was totally enthralled by the photo realistic version of it. The VFX is pretty neat. This time I knew the plot so I

The alpha is on the pounce. He has been there, done that before too. Yet no one believes. No one has proof. He is sleek. Leaves no clues. Moreover, he knows this game. Be charming enough so that you think it is just the way he is, nothing bad. He will make you feel like you have a dirty mind, not him. He was just being nice and charming. What were you thinking? Women have to always watch out for such twisted minds. One wrong move from you and he has his claws out. Ready for you. He always was. He likes to play this game of hide n seek. Of you being the helpless and he being the ruthless. This game of hunting. It's a game of power. He doesn't know that this time the tables have turned. You are no more docile, the girl next door. You have learnt your lesson. You have learnt it the hard way, never to forget. You are alert. You are strong. You are a woman. If the truth is inconvenient noone is ready to believe you. Noone ready to help you. Noone ready to stand and fight

The one important quality we can all teach our kids or rather first practise ourselves is to own our messes. In reality we very easily manage to find ways to blame others for the mess we make in our lives. The moment we blame someone else for our faults we feel relieved and if we pay close attention to our bodies we can sense the stress leaving our bodies too. People who act dastardly should deter from passing the buck to others. But then it requires a lot of courage to deal with the mistakes you have made and own them without pointing fingers. It is very natural to err. We need to accept it and take full responsibility for the mistakes. Everyone of us thinks our mess is larger than others but the truth is everyones mess is smaller than they think it is. They only have to stop using a microscope to view it. The way we want to take credit for all the good things happening around us we should also be able to shoulder the responsibility of a mishap which has occurred because o

I dont know where and how to start writing about my absolutely wonderful dad. I always write about how my mother has shaped my personality and how she still has a say in all things I do. I love my dad to the moon and back but I guess I will never be able to express this to him in so many words. On this fathers day my elder one has prodded me to go full throttle on my dad. I feel much honoured to be talking about him today as he is the most lovable, and supportive father one could have ever asked for. All my childhood he has always stood like a pillar by my side and protected me. I have always joked about his protective nature towards his kids and grandkids, however I understand where it comes from. He is very emotional and has passed this side of his to me as well. In my earlier blog , I had written how my dad had explained the meaning of giving and helping to me. I hope some day my girls too adopt his pattern of giving and helping. In my family we always say that my mum and

The chase never stops. It never ends. If chasing your dreams is what gives you happiness, then by all means you should do that. Happiness comes with a cost. It means different things to different people at different times. You have to decide at what extremes you can go to reach it. If everything is happening the way you want it to, then you probably are in the wrong lane. Many times when things suddenly fall in place and you get everything you want you wonder if you are in wonderland. The debilitating feeling of losing everything grips us and we start panicking. Why it happens is a thing to unfurl. Life's mysteries are easy to solve only if we attempt to understand them. Sometimes you feel like you are being suffocated. There is no one you can turn to. People see the happy face and are quick to judge, not knowing what the person has gone through or going through to reach the place he/ she is in today. You feel like you are all alone. There is noone who understands you. No

I had always wondered how it is possible for my mom to handle things so smoothly. Everything she did seemed easy breezy. It looked easy because she handled it the way only she knew. I was always enthralled by the way she got things done. No and never weren't the words she liked or used. She used to say why are you afraid to ask. Dont be afraid of seeking and asking. The only two outcomes are a No and a Yes. Why risk a 50 percent chance of a positive outcome just because you are afraid of the No. Her funda was very simple. All you need to do is ask. If you are lucky enough you will get a Yes and things would work out the way you want. And if it is a No then find a work-around and get it done as per the changed circumstances. Being very flexible is the key to all decision making, is something I have learned from her. If you get stuck at some point. Dont waste time by being stubborn and stupid. If you want things to work in your favour dont always expect the situation to cha

How I wish I knew its going to take three weeks, loads of money and loss of sanity (albeit I was prepared for the first two) to renovate my two bathrooms. If you have a cat or a dog it's still fine you can work around them. They wont complain. But in case you have two kids and one of them is a toddler, then God bless you ! The final result of the project should be kept in mind to survive the blows of debris, loud hammering and constant buzzing of two bees complaining( applicable only to people who have daughters). Complaining about all the noise, the shifting, the change, the food and the list goes on and on. It all started when my hubby said that he intends to renovate the two baths after completing 10 years in the house. So this year we are completing the very much looked forward to, 10 years. Our contractor had said that if we temporarily shift our residence someplace else, he can work on both the bathrooms simultaneously and complete the work in 3 weeks. I was exhil

They say God cannot be everywhere so he created mothers. Nothing could be truer. From the day a baby is born, all it does is take. Mothers are the ones who are the givers. No woman would share her beauty secrets, her trade tricks, cooking tips, life hacks to anyone but her child. My mother was always right when she said you wont understand a thing till you have your own kids. Being a mother is such a wonderful journey albeit strewn with hurdles and its shares of ups and downs. All my life I always fought with my mother not able to understand her point of view. All I did was ask for more and she gave it all to me. Whoever said, " By the time you understand your mother was right you already have a daughter who thinks you are wrong", is apt. Becoming a mother comes with the promise of happiness and joy but at the same time the job is not easy. There are a lot of hardships. Sometimes it's too much to take and it just becomes overwhelming. I just wanted to be a moth

There are some days when you just get too tired. Emotionally tired, physically tired, mentally tired. The feeling to not do anything sticks with you for a long time. The melancholy which sets in is depressing and doesnt seem to end. The light at the end of the tunnel seems fictional. All that you can see is darkness around and you being dispersed in it. You want to come out of it but you cannot. Darkness is ruthless and its grip tenacious. If you let the feeling linger around you all the time, it will pull you in more. But as soon as you try to free yourself from its shackles the better you start feeling. What got you here wont get you there. It means everytime you are sad you have to use different tactics to come out of the sadness. The same way wont always work for different situations. The more you work at it, the better you get at it. Meditation is one fantastic option. And by meditation I dont mean closing your eyes and sitting for hours together, trying not to thi

The biggest hurdle for your growth is your mind. It works in mysterious ways. It will think one thing and make you believe that it is the best for you. It will confuse you. Too many voices. Which one to trust?Most of the times I dont know what I am going to do till the very end. And then I just know. I have the answer. It's always there but somehow we all ignore it because, either it's not what you wished for or you think it's too hard. You all have to fight for yourselves because noone is coming to save you. If you still think there is someone who is going to catch you when you fall, you probably are sleeping. Because that happens only in dreams. The reality is some of us are not naturally blessed in some aspects of life and its totally okay to be bad at some things and suck at some others. Nothing cant be not learnt. If you practice and practice, sooner or later you will get there. The question is are you ready to not give up before you reach the destination? Are

Dont we all occassionally need a break from the daily grind? We sometimes are so emotionally drained that we cannot handle anything more. We exercise, eat nutritious food, sleep for more than six hours and still feel exhausted. Is it because there is too much on the plate? So much is expected from you. Kids want to play with you, hubby wants to know where his socks have disappeared for the 23rd time, you have to decide what you want to wear for work, inlaws just called to know when you can spend time with them, boss wants to know if you can prove your mettle and that he has not made a mistake by hiring a woman who has two kids and a lot going on with her. So many decisions. Small or not, doesn't matter. The fact that so many people are dependent on you for all the answers can be sometimes overwhelming. When as friends, women talk and share, they expect to get support from each other. They share stories and experiences and ask- what do you think? Am I doing the right thing.

I saw this Bollywood movie October yesterday and was truly blown away after a very long time. Initially I thought it to be a very slow movie and decided it wasnt worth watching continously without blinking. In short it wasnt that gripping. You know what I mean, there are some movies which you cannot miss for a single moment, you want to watch it without missing any dialogue. They arise your curiosity so much that you are glued to your seat till you know what happens next. It definitely didnt fall in any such category. Still after an hour or so into the movie, something happened, something stirred inside of me. When someone dies in any movie, there usually are two emotions - one is to cry and the other is to feel very bad but not bad enough to cry. You feel bad but you move on with the story. I thought this movie's emotional quotient to be very high for the latter half of it. The way the director has weaved the night flowering jasmine theme in the movie is beautiful. The pl

The amount of time men and women spend in fighting with each other is more than an average person spending the time watching television. Or so I always think. Till the time a man and a woman are dating each other, everything seems to be going well. Women think they are so lucky to find such an amazing person. He looks dashing, has such an incredible swag, looks oh-so-dapper, is such a gentleman. You are so much head over heels in love with this guy that whatever he does, you think what you want to think. Like he being so sweet, being so kind and humble and you can go on and on with his invisible qualities which probably your friends miss to see. But then you label your friends either jealous or judgemental. What do they know? Right. Only if you could also see what they see. On the other hand men also must be feeling the same or different things about women. But being a woman, I can only write from my own perspective. So after the initial honeymoon phase comes marriage and tha

It's hot ! Literally feels like you are having lunch with Mr Sun himself. Excuse my exaggeration, but it really is dampening my mood and spirit. I feel perpetually exhausted. I thought workouts are supposed to keep me more active but guess what? Mr. Sun has other agenda. It seems like he is laughing at me. He knows how relentless he can be and it just tires me down. Summer vacations are great. Just not my scene. Not in a tropical country where Mr Sun shows his ass for work every single day. My younger one is on a vacation high and she wants to go for swimming, cycling and all other outdoor activities. Now, outdoor activities can be a lot of fun. Just not in 42° celcius. No matter how much sunscreen you pour on yourself, it never seems to be enough. This year, school's calender is messed up. I mean really messed up. They kept changing the exam dates. And now my younger daughter is in her first week of summer vacations while my elder one is still slogging hard for her exa

Sometimes I am so flustered, I am wary of doing anything. It doesnt matter if its mundane or exciting. I am not even paying attention to what it really is. To me when I am down, I am totally lost. Lost in my own little world where I keep telling myself how things are going to work out and how everything is going to be fine. At one moment I am alright and the next, something hits me and I am like what's happening to me. I feel like I am going deep down the rabbit hole, from where there is no coming back. I understand that there are major, legit, life and death issues which people face in many parts of the world. I get it. I feel for them. But that doesn't take away my feelings from me. Why would you call my problems first world problems then? Why would somebody who doesn't know me, get to decide how I should feel? Sadness is sadness. It doesnt know how to differentiate like humans. So if I am sad, I am sad. You cant say my sadness is lesser than yours. You dont know

Aren't we all getting too much opinionated? I am not saying it's a good or bad thing. Who am I to decide, right? However, I genuinely think the world will be much better with one less of an opinion. So I try not to give one, atleast on sensitive matters and unless asked for one. These days any Tom Dick and Harry has an opinion about how to run a government. I mean seriously. Also like I said I dont have anything against having an opinion. Every fool has it too. Its your right. All I ask though, is it necessary to give it to all, unsolicited, on each and every matter. Isnt it exhausting? Who wouldn't want to be a person of knowledge than to be a person of too many opinions. Having a say in all the things is unnecessary. Having no opinions at all when needed is also shamed. What needs to be done is having your opinion and holding to it until asked for it. Otherwise it loses its value. People who choose to remain quiet on sensitive matters have their own reasons. For

It all started when I decided that I too can bake a cake of patisserie standard. My darlings somehow planted this idea inside my head that without much of baking experience or training, I can also bake like an expert and that too in my first attempt. What high expectations? But then who can you blame? All little ones think their mothers have magical powers and are capable of doing everything. I was prepping for the bake day since a couple of days. Groceries check. Apron check. Oven check. Recipe check. Attitude check. Almost everything was checked and so I thought I was all set. What can possibly go wrong? Both my daughters were my sous chefs and were giving me instructions about how exactly they wanted my cake to be. First lesson- if you are baking and that too for the first time start with a basic cake, nothing fancy. Also dont forget-There is something called as pre heating of the oven. Better be aware of it. We started with the dry ingredients first. Sieving and mixing

As small kids, life seems very easy breezy. Endless small talk. Collecting seashells like there is no tomorrow. Shrieking at the top of your voice. Throwing tantrums. Making sand castles. Dressing up for tea parties. And a lot more fun things to fill up their day. What is more interesting is, when as a kid you are doing all these things, it never seems as frivolous. Kids are in their own sweet world, which they take rather seriously. They think and approach their problems as if the world would end, if it doesn't happen as they have planned. Like the other day, my Naughty4 was frantically going through her wooden box which is full of ornaments, bows and colourful ribbons. She was almost in tears. Obviously, she wasnt able to find something important to her. And so I asked her what she was searching for. To which she innocently replied that she had got small colourful stones in her pocket, which she had meticulously collected from the garden and had stored those precious belo

Grandmothers are special. Especially to their grandkids. Grandkids love and worship their grannies and the grannies adore their grandkids to the moon and back. What if I tell you I know one such granny who adores not only her grandchild but adores other kids too. She is very loving and generous and an amazing cook. She is always so eager to help others and is in fine fettle. At her age, I doubt If we will be able stand on two feet and walk, let alone running errands. I remember when we were young our granny would go to great extents to fulfill our demands. However small or big it would be, she would make sure we got atleast something, which was close to what we asked for. In those days, almost over three decades back, money and food weren't abundant like it is in today's day and time. Most people used to scavenge for things which could be reused. My gran was such a towering figure, not in terms of physique but in terms of substance. She was an amazing woman and stood h

When I told my hubby how boring it is sometimes when both our daughters go to school and he for office, I was looking for some empathy and not a solution to a problem. For me there was no problem at all. I loved the free time I was getting so I could think and write more clearly. I just needed him to listen to me. But no, he had to rescue me like I was a damsel in distress. He started offering solutions to a non- existant problem. Doesn't this happen to you too? Reverse the situation. Your husband is discussing some office trivia with you. He wants you to listen and appreciate him for what he did in that situation. Instead, we being women, start advising him how it would have benefited him, if he would have reacted in a different way( read your way) and so we start grooming him to make him like us. Men like to fix all things broken or not. And women like to change and improve and nurture everything required or not. So many times when people tell me that they- husband and w

My dad has always taught me to be generous without hesitation. When I was younger, I never understood what he meant by that. All I saw was my mum and dad working hard to make a good life and helping people in need without thinking twice and without any hesitation. All the relatives and friends never used to think twice when they were in trouble as they knew all they had to do was - ask, and my parents would be there for them, sometimes giving a cash favour and on more occasions being there in person and giving their time and energy to help and just be there in other peoples moment of difficulty. The enthusiasm which they had was unmatched. He always told me that you never give away things which you no longer need. That's not the way to give. That is not being generous. It's just discarding all those things you no longer need. He then used to encourage me to give things which I was still using and were good to give. The things which are not good to be used by you are n

The most important accessory for me while dressing up is a nice pair of shoes. If they are nice, you are good to go. Doesn't matter if they are loubs or not, if they look neat and fit you like a glove then they are yours to be. A girl can never have enough shoes as they have to change according to an occasion, weather, outfit, mood and some other factors. One of my favourites are belly . Apart from the comfort factor they look good on almost everything. They look elegant and I like wearing them for a casual outing and also on ankle length culottes or trousers. The mules look very nice and they feel quite comfortable too. I like wearing them on jeans and casual wear. I dont like to wear them for summers though as they make my toes sweat. Jutis are my fave option when it comes to ethnic wear or dresses which have a bit of embroidery on it. They come in amazing colours and combinations and look so pretty. They make the feet look super stylish. Stilettoes are ever

Ikigai is a Japanese word or rather it is a Japanese concept which means finding the reason of your being or the purpose and meaning of your being and a feeling of wellbeing. Ikigai is something which gives a sense of satisfaction to an individual. Everyone of us have our own Ikigai based on our beliefs and values. I am glad that I found my ikigai in my writing. Earlier I used to scribble notes and write randomly about whatever came to my mind. And now I am trying to write with more focus and resolve. The more you write, the more you learn how to write. Till the time we understand our purpose of life or that which gives us joy we all are aimlessly trying to dabble many different things. And that's not bad, rather it is essential to go through the grind to gain sagacity. To some their ikigai may be in their routine lives. To have a routine and to follow that religiously day in and day out is commendable. You dont have to do extraordinary things to find your ikigai. Just f