Small things in life matter .

Imagine being only sixteen years old and getting diagnosed with PCOD.(Polycystic ovarian disease).I didn't know what it was or what it meant as I was very young. And the doctors who threw heavy terminologies also didn't help much. I didn't understand the impact of it until I started putting on weight. It also hampers your Menstrual cycle in a bad way. That in turn gives rise to many other unwanted problems. Later when I got married and decided to have a baby, my doctor's advised me to lose atleast five percent of the total body weight. So in between losing weight, timing ovulations, family pressure and jobs you are asked to somehow retain your sanity. Because here is the thing- if you are stressed out, you will put on more weight, even without binge eating or not exercising. Stress can be solely capable of doing that all by itself and you are suddenly more heavier than before you started the weight loss ordeal. Initially, I was struggling to lose my weight. It

Holidays are the happiest times for me and my family. As a kid I was always looking forward to the next holiday. We used to have a total blast during our vacations. Now that I have my own kids we are following the same tradition. Vacation time equals celebration time. As my kids have to wake up early in the morning for school, their number one priority is to catch up on some sleep on holidays. So for them holidays means I will not pester them to get up early. They can laze in their warm beds as much as they like. Naughty4 always has the same question for me, Will you let us sleep till noon? Which she never does. I guess she likes to ask this question just to see my wide range of expressions .From horror to being calm and all other imaginable expressions in between. We usually take a break from the city life for a couple of days by planning a getaway to smaller towns/villages or suburbs. Both my daughters are excited to see the village life. They have so much curiosity about e

No matter how hard you try to be a Ms or Mr congeniality you cannot make everyone happy all the time. I like to believe that it not only tires you but also makes you unhappy. Because at the end of the day trying to please others may come at the cost of ones happiness. Some wise person has rightly said, " I dont know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." There is always a different viewpoint when you disagree to someone. Both the views may be right in their own place. Listen to your heart. Be assured that the heart never leads you to the wrong path. Let it decide which path to choose. When in doubt always flip the coin..and the side you are praying to be as the outcome, will be the choice which you would want to go with. Your heart already knows the answer, it just needs a little push here a little nudge there to tap into your intuition. No matter how rough the decision seems to be, you have to take it. What's the point in havi

Kids are not always interested in winning. It is we adults who instill in them the importance of winning. We teach them that winning is not everything, it's the only thing. We have blinders put on us because of which we dont see that kids get so much joy while participating, practising and playing. The French coach, Arsene Wenger once famously said, " At a young age winning is not the most important thing...the important thing is to develop creative and skilled players with good confidence." One Saturday morning while sipping my piping hot cup of tea in the terrace of my home, I saw a mum playing with her two kids in the garden. Probably twins as both were of the same age. She was teaching them to race. To run when she says go and touch their dads hand. She was trying to tell them that the one who reaches first and touches their dads hand first is the winner. Both the toddlers were too young to understand the nitty gritties of the game, still they nodded their head

My house looks nothing less than a wreck these days as my maid is on a vacation. Yeah! you heard it right. She's on a holiday for two weeks. What am I doing here? Wondering if we can go on one too? It's not that I envy her because we too have our share of vacations. It's just that housework is so much more fun with her. I am the manager and she does all the ground-work. I used to do all the housework and cooking and washing earlier till my first one was born. Then I decided to take some help so that I can lessen my burden. And after my second kid was born, I kept my ego aside and took some more help. When you have a toddler and a pre schooler in the same house at the same time, you should think of some serious help you are going to need. Let's face it - You need a whole village to raise a child. Though my maid deserves the break I also think I deserve all the help I can get. She makes my job a lot easy. I can just focus on my kids school, playtime, cooking, stu

All kids like to try out new things all the time. Many of us quit the old stuff to give way to the new stuff. I still remember I had joined a dance class for Bharatnatyam (Indian Classical) just because my friends had joined that class too. So I convinced my mum to purchase the dance uniform and pay the fees. My other friends seemed pretty interested in the dance. But I was getting bored and understood it wasn't for me. I wanted to quit. I prayed to God to bless me as I was going to approach my mother to tell her about my decision to quit. Imagine her fury after only 15 days of the class. Fast forward to today and the same pattern is back. My younger one-naughty4 is like me. Very eager to start something new. Gets bored quickly. And quits. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? When Naughty4 said yes to activity class, I felt delighted that I would get some extra time but when it started, she got bored within a week and wanted to not go there any more. Then she started drawing c

One of the most early teachings which we give our kids is to be not afraid, to soar high, to work hard to achieve our goals and to set free of the boundaries. It is a very complicated process, and more often than not we are all clueless of what we really want. As parents we want our kids to fit in as well as we want them to stand out. We want our kids to reach for the stars but for that, when they have to travel to another country and get settled, we feel so much insecurity. We dont want them to leave us. The feeling of loneliness and grief engulfs us. The feeling of an empty nest syndrome sets in. In the initial years of a child, his mother is the most important and influential person in the whole world. Your child is dependent on you for all basic things and more. You are the giver and caretaker for the child. However when your child starts growing , he no longer needs you to be around him all the time. When your child hits his teens, you start wondering why your child is ac

My elder daughters exams are on and the most stressed out person in the whole family is me. It's easier for others to say- dont get stressed and it's just an exam, but when it comes to your very own kid, you start fretting. Every exam I tell myself that I wont stress out and that I will chill, until I start getting nightmares about me forgetting all the answers to the exam. My husband tells me that it's ok if you forget it's not your exam.(like I didn't know). If you want to test your patience anytime, all you need to do is sit and watch how many times your kids will sharpen their pencils, erase something which is wrong or something which is right, bend to take the pencil which always manages to slip from their hands.( I tried to slip it from my hands and failed). Two minutes into reading a chapter and they are either thirsty or hungry or sleepy. Try and give them something to write and after a minute their hands start to pain. To bear all the innocent excus

Wishing and Hoping are the two most beautiful words which means so much to so many different people. In my little world these two words are always floating around me. There is no day which passes by where I have not wished or hoped for something better. There is a lot of suffering in this world. So many people are struggling to feed their families, to build a new house after a tornedo wiped off their old one, to get on with their lives when a near one meets with an accident or gets affected by a major disease. Still people get on with their lives. They show so much courage and resilience in the face of adversity. I bow down to all such people. I want to tell all the people who are affected that they are not alone. I want to tell people who are about to quit, that please dont quit as this may be the last leap they may have to take. I want to tell people who are depressed, that they are stronger than they think they are and that they will come out of it sooner than they think.&quo

Does your family too, sometimes drive you nuts? Someone has said that family vacations are a good time to remember why your family never spends any time together. At the time of every family reunion people start by looking forward to meeting all, after a long time and being happy. Then they meet. And all hell breaks loose. It always starts with one weird relative, who likes to be the spoiler. Every family has this weirdo, if you dont find him in the gathering, look no far behind. As it would most definitely be you. I fail to understand what pleasure do they get when they fit - "you are looking amazing"and "douchebag"in the same sentence. It maybe hilarious to them...seems so because they are the only ones laughing at their so called 'funny jokes.' Then there is this one Aunt, who will insist that you have put on weight ( even if this one time, when you have actually managed to lose 10 grams). The problem with her is that she is big and is always

I might lose my sanity soon. As if one child was not enough to torment the wits out of me that we decided to have a second one. Now both naughty8 and naughty4 know me so well that I kind of struggle to hear my own voice. They know exactly how to push my buttons. Just the other day, they were fighting over something and when I tried to play referee, my naughty8 put me in my place. Her teens are far away yet she knows how to throw attitude. I wonder who she has taken after. Naughty4 is a bit of a handful. I am especially afraid when she is silently playing in a room and doesn't disturb me.Sure sign that she is up to something big. Only the other day, when I was getting a bit comfortable, mind you after a hard days work, she saw me. And I try to be very secretive of showing my happiness or coziness. When she sees me sitting and enjoying she gets restless. She then throws a tantrum, and my two minutes of calmness gets shortlived. I dont know what is with kids and mommy get

Dont you all think that one of the toughest job in this world is that of a good homemaker. To transform the "house' of bricks and concrete into a 'home' which makes you feel loved, protected, cosy and inviting is literally a laborious activity. I am waiting for the times which will see homemaking in a more respectful perspective. Like not being mean and saying - you have so much time on your hands, what do you do for the whole day? , isn't it boring to not work and just sit at home?. I want to tell all such people that the answer is a big NO. No, we dont sit around for the whole day and laze. No, we dont get bored, as we manage to do much interesting stuff than you like to give us credit for. And No, we also don't get enough time in a day and would definitely like to indulge in some 'me time'. I had to deal with so many people who tried to tell me that as both my girls are now old enough, why dont I think about getting back to work. Firstly, y

I have always thought of thoughts or proverbs to be the ultimate words embedded in the literary world. In any argument if you throw any time tested proverb, your argument instantaneously becomes stronger. People tend to accept it, as it has been passed down from centuries. Have you ever wondered why there are contradictory proverbs. People have different views and opinions about the same things, like some people are in favour of - "the more the merrier", and some others favour "too many cooks spoil the broth". Some might say "Good things come in small packages" and others say "the bigger the better". While silence can be golden, its said that only squeaky wheels gets the grease. My take on this rather unusual phenomenon is to not take things very seriously. As situation changes, the same proverb wont fit anymore. And you might need an exact opposite of the proverb for another situation. There are some proverbs that are so long that ti

How I wish I was a child again just for a day. No fret, no worries. Being innocent and not knowing you are, is quite something. And it can be felt only by being a child. Both my daughters are super excited to celebrate my birthday today. (They are much interested in the cake though). They have made it very clear as to which cake is to be ordered, which restaurant will be good for dinner, which dress they are planning to wear. Missy 8 has even alluded to what I should select to wear . When I was little I was too shy. So I would like to tweak that side of mine a bit. I always was happy in all the small things, and I have maintained that side of mine. I love gifts. What's not to like about gifts. I like gifting people and receiving back gifts too. I never used to pay much attention to what's inside the gift wrap. For me, since I was a child, I used to be fascinated by the sheer art of gift wrapping. All those pretty bows and all that glittery packing. Also the idea of

Consider this - a girl who is opposed to arrange marriage and wants to find love someday. Like all other girls she too has a twinkle in her eye when she talks about her prince charming. All her life she has seen her parents so blissfully married that it has set some kind of a benchmark for her. To surpass that seemed very farfetched. When I first met him I knew we had connected on some level. When we got married, I realised that whether love or arranged it doesn't matter as long as there is respect and individuality. Love grows stronger as time passes and when kids come into picture, it makes life all worth it. I have understood that life is not a bed of Rose's all the time. Everyone has their own share of ups and downs, fights and chaos. To overcome all the hurdles which life throws and be there for each other is what takes you ahead in your marriage. They say when Life hands you lemons, make lemonade, and that's exactly what we have done. Marriage is a constant

The must haves in my routine are things  which I absolutely cannot do without. There are some things which you have to do in your routine life which are mundane but still forms a large part of your everyday life. Like sending kids off to school, cooking, cleaning, small chores, groceries and if you are working, then the list goes on and on. Luckily as I am a full time home maker, I can take some liberties and can take full advantage of the extra time on my hands. I sometimes like to shut down my mind from all the running  around and sit back and relax, listen to my favourite songs and just go in a daze, thinking but not thinking at the same time. For me simple things matter a lot. And I cannot stress enough about how they make my life better. Reading is one of my joy quotas. It gives me immense joy to day dream and visualise. I get transported from my day to day nitty gritties to a world full of amazing possibilities. I love the fact that I can be lost in a whole new world in

Imagine youself after five years. The same old habits, the same old you, amidst a bit of ageing though. Same things happening over and over again , like getting stuck in some kind of a loop. It sounds boring, doesn't it? Now imagine yourself after five years where you have Learned a new language, learned to scuba dive, learned dancing and some more wonderful things which help you grow as a person. Isn't this situation more appealing? Some wise person has said- Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck in someplace you dont belong. For all of us the feeling of familiarity is very important. Otherwise we feel lost. It is very terrifying to not know where we are going, if we let chaos take lead. Learning to embrace the change which is required or inevitable helps us in the transition. People are more afraid of the transition, than change itself. To evolve is very natural. When you surrender yourself to the change it will be for your betterment, never

Are you one of those people who jump from one diet to another, the moment you hear it's the new, latest on the block diet. Or are you the one who tries a new diet every fortnight and fail to understand why it's not working the way they said it would. When people eat for emotional reasons, they keep on wanting more. They lose their hunger signals and start binge eating, All of this emotional eating takes a toll on the body and tend to put on a lot of excess weight. Noone likes to have that unwanted excess flab around them. After all it isn't good for your health, it reduces your endurance, agility and if I may say- looks not so good on you. It is so frustrating to go on a weight loss diet and end up not losing a single gram. I have been there, done that. The first thing that comes to your mind when you hear weight loss is - Go find a Gym. Finding a gym and joining it, is the first simple step to weight loss. Noone tells you that sticking to the gym routine is th

Dreams are our ticket to experience a whole new world which we long to be in. As a young kid we all had a dream to become a doctor, and then ,when we went to school we wanted to be a teacher, when we went to see the circus we wanted to be a joker and it kept changing frequently as our minds wished. Adulthood changes all the rules of life. We can't be naive anymore. The world out there can be big and bad and we always have to live by the sword. The flip side of that can be- we can get cut easily. Dreaming gives us a chance to be a kid again. In our dreams we can be anyone and still noone judges us. Dreaming and hoping are the two feelings we must hold near to our heart and not let them slip at any point of time. Many people are afraid to take the lead and want to follow all the time. They can lead but are afraid if they go wrong, then what? But if you keep thinking of the consequences, you will never be able to get anything done in the first place, forget about failing or

Every parent, be it a mother or a father is not born as a good mother/father. We all have to learn it when we actually have our own baby. One cannot learn parenting by simply reading a great parenting book. It's a 24/7 job with absolutely no training. We all have to learn on the job. Parenting word itself is such a beautiful word and the meaning of it seems to be so profound, that sometimes I forget, that you dont need to be perfect at it, to be a good mother. Well, one might think that there is a set of rules to follow when you become a parent. But hell no, there cant be the same rules which are applicable to different kids. No two kids are the same. Rather my own two kids are like poles apart. So how can there be any set rules to follow. I think you need to just follow your very own 'mom instinct'. Every mother has that. Its just a matter of time until you get into that groove. Every woman gets used to her own instinct sooner or later. Earlier, I used to think-

Today's life is fast and furious. People don't get enough time in a day to fit in all the things they want to do. However if one could change a 24 hour day into a 28 or a 30 hour day, nothing would change. We would still say - we dont get enough time. Too many things to do in too less of a time.So much to say, so much to eat, so much to do, so much to see and so on and so forth. In this world of abundance - where the per capita income has substantially increased in the last decade or so, people are spoiled for choices. When you have too many options, your mind starts to play tricks with you. You don't know where to stop. Nothing seems to be good as there is always a better option available just round the corner. A better job, a better pay, a better vacation, a better boyfriend , a better spouse . Phew! The list is never ending. Your mind gets exhausted just thinking about it. Once when my husband was pondering over the idea of gifting a tablet to our 7year old dau

Today I want to write about the thankless job we all are doing silently without complaining or standing up for ourselves when is required.Being a mother, a homemaker is as thankless as it gets. I ask myself- why do I not think about myself first. Why do I not love myself the way I should. Why are we conditioned as such that the moment we get married and then ofcourse when we have kids, we put ourselves later than everyone else. We should be asking the men in our lives this question - what joy can a woman give to her family if she herself is deprived of happiness. Now you will say define Happiness. I think happiness is very overrated. You don't and cannot run after happiness as It is not an object. It is a feeling of total bliss. If people think that we cant complain because we have the basic necessities and then some more, they are fools. Owning and buying things and objects gives us pleasure and not happiness. We are just human and not super moms or uber or ultra moms. Th